When I think back to 2020, I am thankful that I didn’t get everything I hoped for. 2020 was when I realized that I needed a change, but I met it with hesitation. I am grateful that in that same year 2020, I finally discerned the end of a season that had begun in 2011. Back then, I was convinced the things I wanted then were best for me- but now I see that what I thought I needed, doesn’t align with me anymore. It took 3 hard years to come to this realization and by 2023, I finally understood why God didn’t answer those prayers or hopes – It also wasn’t anyone’s fault since it was unrequited, but because God was also protecting me from what wasn’t for me.

I have long gotten over that phase, and it amazes me how different my perspectives are now. It gives me hope to know that God is always working even when we don’t see it. Every prayer is answered – sometimes with a gentle “not now” sometimes with a protective “no”, this gives me confidence for anything.

Even when it looks stormy, I can be safe knowing that the One who controls the waves and wind is in charge. As human beings, we don’t see everything, but God sees and knows everything because the past, the present and future are in His hands. Recently, I was asked what I believe God is teaching me in this season. My answer was Trust.

The more I reflect on trusting God, the more I understand what that really means – to know that even when I don’t understand because God loves me, He means well for me and looks out for me.

I am no longer the same person I was in 2020, and people who matter have also noticed a significant change. Talking precisely about my friends and we’ve talked about the growth. I no longer like the same things or gravitate towards those parts of me now. Even though there are people now who try to place me in old boxes, replay old narratives or bring up old versions of me – but that’s on them, not me.

I am still learning how to approach things I do not like, now I see it as an opportunity for thankfulness. A difficult kind of thankfulness. Knowing that God is involved in every detail of my life and actively so. Not passively. Knowing that He is just and will make everything well.

And now, my hope is for God to make permanent the things He has healed and to perfect what He is still working on, even if I don’t understand or don’t like it. Again, the Trust.

This song helped me through back then – It is well by Bethel Music and Kristene DiMarco

#Trust #LettingGod #Closure #Overduepost

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